Joel & Tessi

A painting by Dimitri Petrovthe
Today I found that my mind could not stop reflecting on the fate of so many babies that have been lost in our culture, both wittingly and unwittingly. I couldn’t stop my heart from being saddened by the situation our culture is in, where life is so flippant and only given a chance when it’s convenient to those being affected by it. I kept thinking of so many babies that had been thrown away, little ones that started just like Mara, before they were even acknowledged for having existed. It grieved my soul to think of how this apathy has wormed its way into the very heart of the Church, those in the body of Christ who have been deceived by this culture in which we live.

But then something struck me. As I was mourning the havoc reaped by so many others’ choices that I wished I could change, and as I was wishing I could inform people so that they would not be ignorant of what they were doing, I then began to reflect on my own heart.

. . . God has granted we mothers such a mystery of a gift. The first level of the mystery is the amazing miracle of a life inside of us. Just as Mary, who carried the very life of God within her, pondered these things in her heart, we also, in a similar sense, ponder the miracle that is taking place within us. Each step of the process we cherish in our hearts because we have been given a chance to participate in the beginning of life. Even the most uncomfortable, inconvenient and downright painful parts we cherish in a sense because it all is part of our opportunity to give life. Each sleepless night from too much kicking we secretly smile about endearingly, each level of physical pain we willingly undertake because of the beauty of what is really taking place. We give up governance of our very bodies to be able to have a part in God’s mysterious giving of life. When it is all over and done, most of us even ask for more chances to feel a new life within us, not shying away from all of the inconveniences because we are in awe of what has taken place in the ultimate reality, the creation of an eternal being.

In light of this mystery that has been granted to us women, I began to think of the second level of the gift God has given us in bearing children. He has given us a window to see into even greater things. This approach of willingly taking on pain and suffering for the sake of a human life is the same thing that takes place within the spiritual world on all levels. No life can ever be brought to fruition, except through sacrifice and suffering. Christ Himself showed us this truth by offering Himself. Then He called us to follow in His ways, denying ourselves and taking up our own cross. But how many times do we look on these daily, commonplace sacrifices in disdain, dreading or begrudging them. Each moment we have a chance to lay ourselves down for another we are again given a chance to participate in God’s mystery of giving life. But that life is not just the creation of another new person, but of the very life of God, His Love, His Light within another person. What a mystery to be given a chance to take part in God’s creation of life! We willingly take on the challenge when it means a child within our womb because we can so easily see its mystery. But we have been given a window to see the mystery in all of our suffering in life. Even when we are having to persevere through tribulations that are not directly for someone else, they still bring character in ourselves, the Character of Christ Himself within us. I was blown away by the gift God has given us women to be able to take any pain or struggle we encounter and see it in its true light - an opportunity to create life in this world around us.

Then, as I considered this, I realized how many times I had fallen short of this noble thought, how many times I had not only begrudged an opportunity to lay myself down, but had flat-out refused it. How much life have I refused? How much of God’s amazing Love and Light have I prevented from being a part of this world we are in? How many times has my own selfishness kept others from truly living, not just their physical bodies, but in an even greater sense, how many times have I blocked them from being in communion with God? I discovered I may not have been as “Pro-Life” as I imagined myself to be. May God, who is Love Itself, grant us all the mercy and grace to be able to say “yes” to the chance He has given us to give life to all around us instead of taking it simply for ourselves.